Marchish 3

On the 26th, Frankie slid off the road. He is fine and the car just has a little dent in it, so no lasting damage for anything that actually matters, but something like that happening really makes you think. When people say there are always people out there who are worse off than you, you just think, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course there are. But can’t my life suck, too?” It’s different however, when it’s you who has it worse off than yourself. You know your own feelings and how you work—people tend to have an amazing ability to empathize with themselves. So the Marchish posts are dedicated to the Kiri in the parallel universe that is maybe a whole lot worse off than me right now.

Euphie graduated! Yes, that’s right. Her life with candy will never be the same—in a good way. I was eating a handful of Mike and Ike jelly beans (an Easter thing, I think-- the sour ones are delicious but the normal ones just taste like jelly beans and I was really hoping for more of a Mike and Ike essence to them) when Euphie came downstairs and spotted me. I try to avoid giving her candy in general, and it’s easiest to do that by not eating it front of her, but she had been upstairs so I risked giving myself the snack. Anyway, so there she suddenly was asking for some. I decided to give her just one. This is a perk about having children that people don’t typically mention. “Just have one” means you can give away the crap candy—like when you’re a dalmuti in the Great Dalmuti—it just means you end up with an all around better hand. Hey, wait a second, now that I think about it--the reason why I had the jellybeans in the first place was because my own mother was rather disappointed with the non-Mike-and-Ike Mike and Ike jelly beans and thus I inherited them… Anyway, so I gave Euphie a yellow. But she said no! And so I gave her a green. And she said, “No.” And she kept pointing at my hand and saying, “I want one.” Then I realized there was a stupid pina colada clear flavor which I hadn’t noticed earlier since it’s just a stupid flavor that shouldn’t even exist. So I gave her one of those and she said, “No.” So yeah, even as rarely as she gets candy, she now understands that reds and pinks will always taste the best.

Euphie goes poopoo in her potty a couple of times a week and once she even realized her pee was about to come and went peepee in her potty as well, so I think we’re coming along nicely with her potty trainedness. That said her favorite use of her little girl potty is still for fashion purposes. It’s kinda cute though, because even in wearing pieces of toilet as a hat, her nature as a good big sister still shines through. She takes Adelaide’s comfort into account by taking the harder, outer pieces for herself and shoving the much softer butt pad on Adelaide.



Euphrates is terribly afraid of bugs. When she sees these tiny little things that move she immediately freaks out. Her reaction sequence consists of a priceless look of fear on her face, sometimes crying other times just stunned silence, and then running towards anyone who can pick her up. That’s why it was rather impressive when Frankie went into her room and she took his hand and brought him over to a box. She lifted up the box and under it was a firebug. She captured a bug under something and then had Frankie deal with it after. She’s growing up so fast! As a side note, later on she saw one and immediately stomped it, but little tiny Euphie extinguishing an even little tinier life isn’t nearly as endearing a story.

I burnt my burgers. On the upside, Euphie’s tomato hit Frankie’s face.

Marchish 2

Adelaide gives kisses now. Well, she gives them to some people like Poppy and Grammy and Aunt Katie--and then she claps and claps for herself. For Mommy and Daddy she still just thinks it is funnier to pretend like she is going to and then turn away at the end--and then she laughs and laughs at us. The other good thing is that Adelaide’s new found capacity for expressing love has melted Euphie’s cold rarely-kiss-giving heart because, miraculously, Euphie will go around trying to give kisses now whenever Adelaide does.

Adelaide is essentially off of formula and bottles now. She has had a lifetime of practice stealing Euphie’s cups and drinking milk out of those, so she has made an easy transition. I’m pretty excited about it, though. Not having to pay the cost of formula will be nice, but more importantly—all of those old bottles that hide in corners or under couches or beds that have rotten old nasty stuff inside that you can’t open to clean unless you want to puke, so you just need to throw out but feel guilty about throwing out because they’re bottles and you have no money so you really should just clean them but you can’t bring yourself to, so you just move them to high shelves somewhere where no one can breathe in the toxic crap they’re releasing and pretend you don’t know they’re there—those can all finally be tossed.

After having to vacuum daily, I finally abandoned my method of snack dispension—the easel (or sometimes Cozy Coupe II trunk) trough. It worked so nicely for Euphie and Addie to have such easy access when they wanted a quick bite, but they got to the point where they just played with the food a little bit too much. After having gotten rid of it, I came to the realization that they throw their food all around no matter what, so the trough is back.

I was cleaning out the room and reorganizing our drawers so our clothes would fit so I could actually put some laundry away. I found a pizza box from probably two months ago in one of the drawers. The box was empty so it’s not like it was that gross. And I mean…it wasn’t that weird either. I remember putting it in there and all, but still.

Marchish 1

My relationship with Sleep Frankie has always bugged Frankie. I guess it’s like how you always wonder what it would be like to meet yourself in a parallel universe and the parallel you experiences stuff and it’s you who is experiencing stuff but it isn’t the you you. Like when the Doctor has to watch Bluesuit kissing Rose and he’s not the one experiencing it so it sucks but you can’t fault either of them ‘cause Bluesuit is almost the Doctor, too. Well, “almost” is kinda stretching it. He’s so not the Doctor at all. Anyway, Frankie has kinda gotten to feel what that’s like as I’ve told him various Sleep Frankie stories over the years. I’m kinda jealous that I don’t know other Kiri. I don’t even know if there is a Sleep Kiri because Frankie is incapable of not turning into Sleep Frankie when Sleep Frankie wants to come out, and Sleep Frankie won’t tell me whether or not Sleep Kiri exists. I doubt they know each other though because although Sleep Frankie is pretty witty with the responses, he rarely initiates the conversations and if there is a Sleep Kiri, I don’t know that she would initiate one either.

Here is a case in point of Sleep Frankie being the dominant personality that happened this month.

Frankie and I were having an argument and it was late. He knows I get mad if he falls asleep during the middle of an argument, but he was tired so the impending presence of Sleep Frankie was a possibility I expected and Frankie feared. The argument was a nearing a resolution so I was starting to be funny with my comments and Frankie was starting to become less fearful of falling asleep. Frankie was cold so he pulled more than his fair share of the blankets away from me. I say, jokingly, “Oh, so you’ll steal my warmth as you stab me in the heart?”

“I don’t want to stab you. Oh, although I did bring a knife.”A decently long pause.”Oh SHOOT! You’re not talking to Sleep Frankie!”

Wanting to get it word for word, I say, “Oh, I gotta remember this. How did we start on this train of thought?”

“Well, I called you by your Japanese name.”

“Wait, wait. Get me a pen and paper. Do you know where a pen is?”

“Yeah! I put spearmints in the love boat.”

I start laughing as I write and Frankie keeps asking what I’m writing. “Ewan McGregor? Does that have something to do with it?” So then Frankie wakes back up as Frankie and wonders what he has been saying about Ewan McGregor ‘cause he’s certain he’s been talking about Ewan McGregor because Ewan McGregor is awesome and apparently that’s all Frankie can remember thinking about while Sleep Frankie was talking to me. And then he just decides to start talking about Ewan McGregor as actual Frankie.


I wanted to test their relationship by trying to have Sleep Frankie hide something for me to see if Frankie knew where and what it was the following morning. The problem was Sleep Frankie refused to betray Frankie and would always tell me no. The only way to get Sleep Frankie to agree to it was to first tell Frankie I was doing it and then to convince Frankie to go along with it. Only after Frankie’s awake permission did Sleep Frankie then hide something for me. Well, he tossed it under the bed after seeing what it was. The following day, Frankie didn’t believe when I told him he had hid something. It was at the point at which he finally believed that he did hide something that he also remembered it was under the bed. The interesting part, I think, is that he had no idea what the object was, but he did remember what it felt like in his hand. Oh, and for the record, Sleep Frankie does keep his eyes open, Frankie described the object as hard and round, and the object was Dwight’s Bobble head’s head—Dwight didn’t make it in one piece when we moved.

Note: The March posts seem somewhat parallel universe heavy, but I’ll have you know—I’m a liar. The Sleep Frankie response was really back in the last couple days of February and not in March at all. I was just too lazy to put it up—yeah, I’d even typed it up then. And the car thing was just a couple days ago so really there was a month when I didn’t think about parallel universes at all. I’m just too lazy to post things…so don’t get all worried thinking I think about parallel universes more than the average person—it’s really just monthly.